Covenant

As I read from my devotion this morning the word that kept lingering in my mind was covenant. Covenant is not really a word that we use in our common everyday language, but instead we use a similar word, we use the word promise. What strikes me is that we live in a world that is quick to make promises that often are not kept. We use the word promise as if it means nothing.

This morning I was reading from Genesis 9:1-17, about God's covenant with Noah. God established His covenant with Noah promising never again to cut off all life and destroy the earth. God gave us a sign, a rainbow as a reminder of the covenant He made with Noah and all humanity. God's covenant never fails. Yes, terrible things happen in the world, but God has not destroyed us. God loves us enough that He chose to be in relationship with us. Sadly, not everyone has chosen to be in relationship with Him.

When I think about what it means for God to make a covenant with me, I'm saddened by the fact that as much as I try I will never be perfect and sometimes I fall away forgetting the relationship I have with Him and not seeking Him first. Yet, I also rejoice in the fact that God understands and knows my imperfections and still loves me unconditionally.

One covenant I made was with my Company of New Pastors. I entered a covenant to read the Scriptures and the Book of Confessions daily, and I admit I have read sporadically. Things come up my life gets busy, I forget or sometimes just put my readings aside. I pray that as I move forward I can not only be reminded of my covenant, but that I can act on it as well. When I read the Scriptures I feel my life is more full than when I don't. I pray that when things get busy I will remember to stop and meditate on the Word of God before I let things get too out of control.

This prayer is one my husband read to me once. It's the prayer of Lorica of St. Patrick. This has been a refreshing reminder to me of what it means to be in a covenant relationship with the Lord.

Lorica of St. Patrick

I bind unto myself today the strong name of the Trinity:

by invocation of the same the Three in One and One in Three.

I bind this day to me forever by power of faith,

Christ's incarnation,

His baptism in the Jordan river,

His death on the Cross for my Salvation,

His bursting from the spiced tomb,

His riding up the heavenly way,

His coming at the day of doom I bind unto myself today!

I bind unto myself today the power of God to hold and lead:

His eye to watch,

His might to stay,

His ear to harken to my need:

The wisdom of my God to teach,

His hand to guide,

His shield to ward;

The Word of God to give me speech,

His heavenly host to be my guard!

Christ be with me, Christ within me, Christ behind me, Christ before me,

Christ beside me, Christ to win me, Christ to comfort and restore me,

Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,

Christ in hearts of all that love me, Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

I bind unto myself the name, the strong name of the Trinity: by invocation of the same the Three in One and One in Three, of whom all nature hath creation, Eternal Father,

Spirit, Word: praise to the Lord of my salvation -- salvation is of Christ the Lord!

Story Telling

This past Sunday the sermon at church was on John 20:24-31, the story where Jesus appears to Thomas. The sermon was titled "A Life Changing Relationship." The pastor talked about family stories and how it's those stories that have been told over and over again that help to shape who we are and who are families are.

In John 20:29, Jesus said, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." Often times we hear stories that we think are tall tales because they simply can't be true. But maybe they are true. Jesus said blessed are those who believe even without seeing. I've heard many stories from my family over the years, but I have no proof to know if they are true, I simply believe. One of my favorite stories is about my grandparents when they were dating. My grandma lived on a farm and my grandpa lived in the city. Grandma didn't have a phone on the farm, so my grandpa would fly in a little airplane over her farm and drop her messages. I love that story.

The pastor talked about looking at our lives and telling the stories of God's work in us. The more we share our story the more it becomes a reality to those who hear it. I felt like this sermon was important for me to hear this week because I've been struggling with writing my CPE Residency application. I have struggled with the idea of putting Malia in daycare and going into a full time chaplain residency. I know God has called me to serve Him in ministry, and that I have also been called to be a mother. How do I reconcile the two? One thing I realized, with the help of Chris, is that this is not an either or decision. The journey that I am on is not one that I'm taking alone, but that Chris and Malia are on with me. Of course I'm still struggling with the thought of daycare because I love being with my daughter in the day, but my call to ministry and desire to follow Jesus is also a love and passion of mine.

Following Jesus is not an easy path and the decisions we make are not always easy. But one beautiful thing I see in the midst of this is that someday I will be able to tell Malia of God's call on my life. The call to be a mother and the call to be a minister. Malia was with me when I completed my MDiv, she was with me during my first CPE, and she was with me when I became "certified ready for a call." She is a part of my story and call to ministry and will be a part of my story forever.

I pray that God will continue to guide me through this process, and guide me to make the best decisions for our family. I look forward to the day when I tell Malia the story of God's work in my life and that she will understand and maybe even repeat some of the stories she's heard. The stories I share and the stories our family shares are the stories that help to shape who she is and who she belongs to. God is working in all our lives and His story is our story.

Malia Crawling

This year we received a little gift the day after Christmas... Malia started crawling! At first she was a bit wobbly and moved slowly, but now she's crawling all over the place. We've moved our coffee table to the side of the living room to block her from crawling over to Tiki's cage and the dining room and kitchen. She zips all around the room and spreads her toys everywhere. It definitely looks like she owns the room. She has also begun to pull herself up to her knees and is working very hard to get to her feet. It's amazing to see how quickly she has coordinated herself in such a short time to enjoy this new freedom to explore.

This is a short video of Malia crawling on December 30, 2009.

Happy New Year!

Well as far as New Year's resolutions go... I never make them. It's not that I don't care about them, but I'm terrible at sticking to them therefore I just don't make them. Although as for the New Year I'm so happy to begin another year. This past year was filled with excitement, joys, sorrows, and it's fair share of scariness. So I'm praying that with this new year comes lots of new beginnings for us. I hope that we can continue to get settled into Colorado Springs and eventually be involved in a church community that we can call home. We have found a wonderful church that we are currently worshipping at, but hope to become more involved throughout the year. I'm excited to see what God has in store for our family! Here's to the New Year!