Because He Loves Me

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." ~ Galatians 2:20

Years ago I had a dream where I was laying against a large wooden post on the ground. My arms were being streached and tied to the wooden post that laid horizontal at the top of the other wooden beam, and I realized that I was laying on the cross. In my dream I looked over toward my left hand as a man was placing a metal stake into the palm of my hand and as he swung the hammer down on the stake I was immediately standing next to the the cross watching as Jesus' hand was nailed to the cross. I stood there with tears in my eyes, feeling the pain that Jesus suffered, and realized that he took my place on that cross.

The images of that dream remain vivid in my mind, and have serve as a constant reminder of the sacrifice that Jesus made on my behalf. He gave himself for me so that I might live because he loves me.

There are days when I question what living fully means, and what does it look like on a daily basis. It's easy to get caught up in the mundane things in life, or to get stuck in a pattern. But when that happens how does one fully live?

As I look at my life, I find that living fully is being in the present moment, yet listening for the ways God is calling me. I find that lately it's in the few quiet moments I sneek in between the kids naps, and moments of standing alone in my driveway looking up at the night sky and finding solace in God's creation. I may be small compared to the night sky, but God's love for me is so great.

I was once told that faith is believing in what I cannot see. I may never see all there is to see in this life, or fully understand the things in this life, but it's by faith that I can live life to it's fullest and explore the gift Jesus gave me as he took my place on that cross.

Set Apart

"But when God, who set me apart from my mother's womb and called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles, my immediate response was not to consult any human being." ~ Galatians 1:15-16

I often go about my days forgetting how God has chosen me, and has set me apart from the time I was in my mother's womb. I wonder how many other people, like me, get caught up in the hussle of life and don't take the time to fully absorb the fact that God loves us so much that he chose us first.

What does it mean to be chosen? As a child, my memories of being "chosen" were not positive. For many reasons unknown to me, I was often chosen last in a line up. I despised waiting to be called because I always knew I would be chosen last or close to last, and I often felt embarrassed as if there was something wrong with me. Yet I was always hopeful that maybe someone would call my name, and maybe someone would choose me first.

In middle school I went bowling with my youth group, and after scoring the lowest score my youth leader said, "Lisa, the first shall be last and the last shall be first." Those words remained with me to this day as he told me about  the parable of the workers in the vineyard  - Matthew 10:16. I always held on to that knowledge with the anticipation that one day I would be chosen first, and that to Jesus there is no first and last, but equals.

As I read this verse in Galatians, I was reminded that I have been chosen first because God chose me, even before I could chose him. He chose me in my mother's womb, and set me apart to do great things. Although there are times when I doubt myself and lack the confidence I need, I know God desires great things for my life, and he has equiped me to preach among the nations - however that looks. It's taken me many years to realize that I am a leader. For years I was comfortable simply following because I had allowed my surroundings to define me as a follower and as one chosen last. Yet God continues to choose me first. He picks me up, dusts me off, and makes me sparkle like a treasure, because in his eyes I am a treasure. He created me to preach his word, and to be a voice for those who have yet to find their voices. I am a leader, and each day I continue to discover my own voice and abilities as I let God define who I am, chosen and loved, and precious in His sight.

Covenant

As I read from my devotion this morning the word that kept lingering in my mind was covenant. Covenant is not really a word that we use in our common everyday language, but instead we use a similar word, we use the word promise. What strikes me is that we live in a world that is quick to make promises that often are not kept. We use the word promise as if it means nothing.

This morning I was reading from Genesis 9:1-17, about God's covenant with Noah. God established His covenant with Noah promising never again to cut off all life and destroy the earth. God gave us a sign, a rainbow as a reminder of the covenant He made with Noah and all humanity. God's covenant never fails. Yes, terrible things happen in the world, but God has not destroyed us. God loves us enough that He chose to be in relationship with us. Sadly, not everyone has chosen to be in relationship with Him.

When I think about what it means for God to make a covenant with me, I'm saddened by the fact that as much as I try I will never be perfect and sometimes I fall away forgetting the relationship I have with Him and not seeking Him first. Yet, I also rejoice in the fact that God understands and knows my imperfections and still loves me unconditionally.

One covenant I made was with my Company of New Pastors. I entered a covenant to read the Scriptures and the Book of Confessions daily, and I admit I have read sporadically. Things come up my life gets busy, I forget or sometimes just put my readings aside. I pray that as I move forward I can not only be reminded of my covenant, but that I can act on it as well. When I read the Scriptures I feel my life is more full than when I don't. I pray that when things get busy I will remember to stop and meditate on the Word of God before I let things get too out of control.

This prayer is one my husband read to me once. It's the prayer of Lorica of St. Patrick. This has been a refreshing reminder to me of what it means to be in a covenant relationship with the Lord.

Lorica of St. Patrick

I bind unto myself today the strong name of the Trinity:

by invocation of the same the Three in One and One in Three.

I bind this day to me forever by power of faith,

Christ's incarnation,

His baptism in the Jordan river,

His death on the Cross for my Salvation,

His bursting from the spiced tomb,

His riding up the heavenly way,

His coming at the day of doom I bind unto myself today!

I bind unto myself today the power of God to hold and lead:

His eye to watch,

His might to stay,

His ear to harken to my need:

The wisdom of my God to teach,

His hand to guide,

His shield to ward;

The Word of God to give me speech,

His heavenly host to be my guard!

Christ be with me, Christ within me, Christ behind me, Christ before me,

Christ beside me, Christ to win me, Christ to comfort and restore me,

Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,

Christ in hearts of all that love me, Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

I bind unto myself the name, the strong name of the Trinity: by invocation of the same the Three in One and One in Three, of whom all nature hath creation, Eternal Father,

Spirit, Word: praise to the Lord of my salvation -- salvation is of Christ the Lord!